Dear Penna,

Last Saturday I was sitting in my stylist's chair about to have the Yuko Perm done and in walks a very beautiful-but very confused and obviously disheveled- Black chic.  She sits down on the chaise in the front of the salon by the receptionist's desk (my stylists' station is the very first because he's the owner of the salon); then one of the other sylists walks by and first asks her who she was there for, she says "a consultation", then he winks at her as if to say, "I'm going to wink at you and make you feel better because nobody else is, and I don't blame them because you are looking tore up."  Anyway, so my stylist, who hears that she is there to actually see him, has her to sit in the station right next to where I was sitting so that he could take a look at her hair.  He didn't think I heard him as he mumbled under his breath, "You have got to be kidding me.  I really hope you're not her that is here for the consultation."  He said it in such a haughtily disdainful way as to speak down about her.

He left my hair for the minute or two that it took him to tell her that she should just consider cutting her hair all off and starting over because "it is a mess".  Smacking his arrogant lips together, he belts out, "Honey, I don't know what to do with your hair.  And it looks like some of your extensions are still in because your hair is kinky and the extensions are Nordic hair."  She says, "I took out all of the extensions.  The straight part of my hair is from the Yuko Perm that my stylist used on me."  He said, "Um, I think your stylist did one too many steps on your hair because Yuko is not for your kind of hair."  The way he looked at her while he spoke down to her completely turned my stomach.  He continued at her by saying, "See her?  The Yuko is for someone like her."  Lo and behold he was pointing at a Caucasian chic in another station.  I was flabbergasted!

I direct my attention back to her and her expression of helplessness and embarrassment.  Before she could regroup and say anything he says, "I know of a really good salon for you because we can't help you here.  Even with Caribbean hair its got some sorta straight to it and then loose curls, but you have straight up African-American hair."  She just looks at him.  He then proceeds by saying, "Oh,yeah, the salon that you should visit is Oh! My Nappy Hair! I've seen some of their work in magazines and they seem to be able to do good work on your type of hair."  He then gives her the I feel sorry for you look and mutters, "I'm sorry.  I wish I could give you some uplifting words but I can't."  She grabbed her Louis Vuitton (It was real by the way!  Trust me, I checked it out!), smiled, thanked my stylist and exited the building.

I was amazed at how much Grace she handled herself with.  I was more amazed by him and the nerve of him.  I mean, I was speechless.  This salon is one of the most upscale/high end/ whatever salon in Los Angeles, with a huge client list, and an even bigger wait list.  But I didn't care.  There is no stylist in the world, no matter the social status, that should treat a person this way.  I was spending about $650 a month in his salon for the whole year that I was going there (plus any extra gratuity).  How could I have not seen this before?

PLEASE tell me what to do!

Read more: Oh! My Nappy Hair!

Dear Penna,

I was in one of my many classes the other day and class was going along as usual. There is a student in the class that talks really loud, especially when she wants to share great news about a project or something interesting that has happened in her life during the week. Whenever she begins to express herself she becomes very animated and detailed, and you can really tell that she wants to engage everyone into a "happy" conversation. One of the instructors, once the girl calmed down, started talking really loud to her, trying to be funny and embarrass her. This went on for about a minute until the girl catches onto this and comes over to me and asks, "Why is she talking to me like that?" I said, "I'm thinking it's because when you talk- it's very loud." She said, "Oh! I'm sorry. Have I ever done that before?" I said, "Yes, all the time!" She said, "Thank you for making me aware of that. I never knew that I did that."

I've never been faced with a situation like this, so please help me to understand better ways to handle this, if it were to ever surface again. Plus, I have a lot of different classes so I'm sure that another situation will come up.

James Brown -- "Talking Loud and Saying Nothing"

Read more: Loud Talking

Dear Penna,

I don't like my job or the people that I work around. On my last job was a guy that put his hands on me because he was in a position higher than me, and then he fired me. I'm not happy at the job that I'm currently at because the manager has nothing nice to say about anyone and likes to talk down to people. I go off on her and speak very loudly so that I can embarrass her. She's been an employee there for a long time and has built a rapport with the customers. If she does not like someone, then the customers won't like that person either. Another problem that I'm facing is that my boss does not like me and does not speak to me. He won't smile at me but he smiles at everyone else. I deserve to be spoken to! He brings down my spirit by not speaking! Apparently what I'm doing in my life is not working, so should I try something new?

Read more: On The Job