The New Princess Beauty Slang
Written by Penna Sunday, May 24, 2009
Columns - Perfect Princess School
Hi, Princesses! The first thing learned in Princesses in Training (Penna's Perfect Princess School) is the correct beauty slang terminology. I've come up with a few new beauty slang words for you:
blackberries / (blak ber ez) / n. / mascara particles that collect in the inner corners of your eyes after a night of sleeping in makeup. “Last night was such a bender – I didn’t wash my face and woke up with smudged eye liner and blackberries.”
Cam gams (kam gamz) / n. / long, toned skinny legs reminiscent of Cameron Diaz’s. “If your legs look
like tree trunks in flats, I have the perfect solution! With stratospheric Brian Atwood slingbacks and Chloe micro-mini, I’ll finally have Cam gams!” 
O-zone / (o’zon) / n. / acne breakout along the circumference of your face caused by cleanser residue. “I thought I was allergic to something because of the ring-around-my-face breakout. But as it turns out, I just have an O-zone. Pass the Clearasil, pronto!”
catcher's mitt / (katch'erz mit) / n. / one who is darkened by the sun to such a great extent that his or her complexion takes on a leathery texture. "If you keep baking in the sun without wearing SPF, you'll turn into a catcher's mitt. Remember Magda from "There's Something About Mary?"
brownheads / (braün’hedz) / n. / clogged pores tinted a mahogany hue by self-tanner. “Boy, do I need a facial! I had a crystal-clear complexion yesterday, but all these brownheads appeared after my airbrush tan.”
puff junkie (puhf juhnk'e) / n. / makeup reapplication addict. “She’s reapplying her lip gloss again? What a puff junkie.”
Viagra brows / (vī ag’rə brouz) / n. / Eyebrows artificially arched with shots of Botox, leading to a long-term medically-induced elevation. “I accidentally over-plucked my arches in my new 5x mirror, and now I look like I have Viagra brows. Help!”
pillow pucker / (pil’ o puhk’er) / n. / plump, kissable lips. “Ten percent of plastic surgery patients request c ollagen lip injections so they can look get Angelina Jolie’s pillow pucker.”
speed bumps / (sped’ bumpz) / n. / the unsightly chicken skin on your bikini area post-wax that may slow down a speeding partner. “My speed bumps last four days after I get a Brazilian. I need to get waxed at least a week before my trip to St. Barths.”
tanorexic / (tan’ e rek sik ) / n. / one who suffers from an unhealthy preoccupation with tanned skin (obtained via solar rays, artificial UV-light or DHA-based creams and sprays). “I’m such a tanorexic that I once called in pale, not sick, to work!”
(PPI would like to thank Cameron Diaz and Angelina Jolie)
Tags: beauty slang Perfect Princess School Princess In Training mascara eyebrows tanning legs o-zone SPF glamour complexion pores powder lips collagen razor bumps
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