The New Princess Beauty Slang
Written by Penna Sunday, May 24, 2009
Hi, Princesses! The first thing learned in Princesses in Training (Penna's Perfect Princess School) is the correct beauty slang terminology. I've come up with a few new beauty slang words for you:
blackberries / (blak ber ez) / n. / mascara particles that collect in the inner corners of your eyes after a night of sleeping in makeup. “Last night was such a bender – I didn’t wash my face and woke up with smudged eye liner and blackberries.”
Cam gams (kam gamz) / n. / long, toned skinny legs reminiscent of Cameron Diaz’s. “If your legs look
like tree trunks in flats, I have the perfect solution! With stratospheric Brian Atwood slingbacks and Chloe micro-mini, I’ll finally have Cam gams!”
O-zone / (o’zon) / n. / acne breakout along the circumference of your face caused by cleanser residue. “I thought I was allergic to something because of the ring-around-my-face breakout. But as it turns out, I just have an O-zone. Pass the Clearasil, pronto!”
catcher's mitt / (katch'erz mit) / n. / one who is darkened by the sun to such a great extent that his or her complexion takes on a leathery texture. "If you keep baking in the sun without wearing SPF, you'll turn into a catcher's mitt. Remember Magda from "There's Something About Mary?"
brownheads / (braün’hedz) / n. / clogged pores tinted a mahogany hue by self-tanner. “Boy, do I need a facial! I had a crystal-clear complexion yesterday, but all these brownheads appeared after my airbrush tan.”
puff junkie (puhf juhnk'e) / n. / makeup reapplication addict. “She’s reapplying her lip gloss again? What a puff junkie.”
Viagra brows / (vī ag’rə brouz) / n. / Eyebrows artificially arched with shots of Botox, leading to a long-term medically-induced elevation. “I accidentally over-plucked my arches in my new 5x mirror, and now I look like I have Viagra brows. Help!”
pillow pucker / (pil’ o puhk’er) / n. / plump, kissable lips. “Ten percent of plastic surgery patients request c ollagen lip injections so they can look get Angelina Jolie’s pillow pucker.”
speed bumps / (sped’ bumpz) / n. / the unsightly chicken skin on your bikini area post-wax that may slow down a speeding partner. “My speed bumps last four days after I get a Brazilian. I need to get waxed at least a week before my trip to St. Barths.”
tanorexic / (tan’ e rek sik ) / n. / one who suffers from an unhealthy preoccupation with tanned skin (obtained via solar rays, artificial UV-light or DHA-based creams and sprays). “I’m such a tanorexic that I once called in pale, not sick, to work!”
(PPI would like to thank Cameron Diaz and Angelina Jolie)
Tags: beauty slang Perfect Princess School Princess In Training mascara eyebrows tanning legs o-zone SPF glamour complexion pores powder lips collagen razor bumps
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